i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
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