absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Randomize
