I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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