i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
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