i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
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