so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
