What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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