Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize
