I'm really into asian looking animals
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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