I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
foreskin is a definite game changer
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
