I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Randomize
