her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
