One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
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