it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
