Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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