I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
