I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
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