Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
