We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol