Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
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I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
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Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.