Texts From Last Night

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  (815): View more from Illinois

  This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.

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  (815): This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing. http://tfl.nu/2ksa
  Replies (15) Good night (589) Bad night (2493)
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  (925): View more from California

  he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look

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  (925): he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look http://tfl.nu/dco3
  Replies (34) Good night (864) Bad night (2536)
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  (865): View more from Tennessee

  One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.

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  (865): One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat. http://tfl.nu/8o5d
  Replies (18) Good night (3097) Bad night (861)
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  (763): View more from Minnesota

  I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.

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  (763): I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year. http://tfl.nu/q074
  Replies (10) Good night (962) Bad night (3674)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"

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  (970): Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet" http://tfl.nu/xuid
  Replies (13) Good night (4295) Bad night (1862)
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  (352): View more from Florida

  She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.

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  (352): She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject. http://tfl.nu/69m3
  Replies (9) Good night (1509) Bad night (2337)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.

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  (303): Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it. http://tfl.nu/2ryl
  Replies (27) Good night (3225) Bad night (706)
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  (334): View more from Alabama

  My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.

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  (334): My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves. http://tfl.nu/fl2d
  Replies (11) Good night (3067) Bad night (879)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark

  (1-678): View more from Georgia

  ...

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  (678): Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark (1-678): ... http://tfl.nu/supo
  Replies (8) Good night (1508) Bad night (731)
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  (585): View more from New York

  Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.

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  (585): Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future. http://tfl.nu/yjl5
  Replies (4) Good night (1729) Bad night (611)
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.

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  (812): You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard. http://tfl.nu/0j3h
  Replies (9) Good night (1476) Bad night (573)
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis

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  (812): But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis http://tfl.nu/afbo
  Replies (6) Good night (886) Bad night (305)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.

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  (815): I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home. http://tfl.nu/5egk
  Replies (4) Good night (708) Bad night (332)
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  (516): View more from New York

  Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god

  (1-516): View more from New York

  You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!

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  (516): Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god (1-516): You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!! http://tfl.nu/q7xb
  Replies (4) Good night (803) Bad night (312)
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.

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  (812): We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics. http://tfl.nu/9g6f
  Replies (1) Good night (661) Bad night (161)

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