i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.