Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
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They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
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He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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