we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Randomize
