her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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