Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
