You're so nebulous sometimes
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
you inspire me to be a worse person
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
