and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
