idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
