I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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