Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
