if you like me you must not know who I am
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
