Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
