He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Found the puke drawer
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
