Barsexuality is the new black.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Randomize