soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
