the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Randomize
