i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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