is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
