its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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