I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
