I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
