That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
