oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Randomize
