Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
