I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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