My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
