I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
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