they said they heard you say put it in my butt
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
