Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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