if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
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