your parents love me but you hate me
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
