That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize