Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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