There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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