you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
