i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize