we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
