ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
