You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
operation harelip BJ is a go
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize
