In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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