he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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